Domestic Violence Headlines for the Week of May 12

Stars—they’re just like us, and not always in a good way. Intimate partner violence can find anyone, including the rich and famous, which often makes it even more complicated for survivors to find justice and safety. 

Sex Trafficking, Sexual Assault Trial Starts for Sean P. Diddy Combs

On Monday, the federal trial of rapper Sean Combs, more commonly known as “P. Diddy" or "Puff Daddy” in his heyday, began in New York. Combs, 55, was arrested last September and indicted on charges of sex trafficking by force, racketeering conspiracy and transportation to engage in prostitution. Combs has been accused of running a criminal enterprise for at least the last two decades that involved forced labor, kidnapping and obstruction of justice in order to sexually exploit and abuse women, including his ex-girlfriend Casandra Ventura, a singer and model known more commonly as “Cassie.” Combs has pled not guilty to all charges. He faces 15 years to life if convicted.  

Ventura and Combs dated for more than 11 years after they met in 2005 when Combs signed Ventura to his record label, Bad Boy Records. Ventura was just 19 years old, and Combs was 37. Ventura attests that Combs was controlling and physically violent for much of their relationship, evidence of which was broadcast to the world in a video released by CNN last year from 2016 when Combs attacked Ventura in the hallway of a hotel, dragging her by her hair back to their room after she tried to leave. 

In 2023, Cassie filed a lawsuit against Combs accusing him of rape, physical abuse and controlling behavior, saying, “After years in silence and darkness, I am finally ready to tell my story, and to speak up on behalf of myself and for the benefit of other women who face violence and abuse in their relationships. With the expiration of New York's Adult Survivors Act fast approaching, it became clear that this was an opportunity to speak up about the trauma I have experienced and that I will be recovering from for the rest of my life.”

Many victims of intimate partner violence are blamed for not leaving sooner, for not reporting abuse immediately after it happened or for returning to an abuser multiple times in hopes that the abuser had changed. The truth is, it’s not easy for survivors to leave when they are being controlled and brainwashed by an abuser, especially an abuser with power, influence and fame, which they may weaponize to convince a survivor that the abuser will never be held accountable, no matter what the survivor does.  

Ventura, currently eight months pregnant with her third child, her second with husband Alex Fine, is considered the star witness in Combs’ trial. She has endured long days of emotional testimony and cross-examination all week about the violence Combs inflicted during their relationship. She says Combs’ relentless coercion into something he called “freak-offs”—forced drug-fueled, days-long orgies with male sex workers while Combs watched—left her suicidal, even though she says there were times when she helped to plan the “events.”

"I felt pretty horrible about myself. I felt disgusting. I felt humiliated. I didn’t have the words to show how horrible I felt. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it,” she testified, adding that fear was at the crux of her involvement. “I didn't want him to be upset or not trust me," she testified. "He was a scary person; he would be violent.”

Sexual coercion is a tactic of intimate partner abusers. It’s often a confusing scenario for survivors. Coercion means a victim is pushed past a limit they feel comfortable with, often out of fear of the repercussions that will come by not complying. In many incidents, including in Ventura’s case, the abuser will record intimate acts and use them later on as leverage to keep victims from reporting the abuse or leaving the abuser. This is often referred to as “revenge porn.” Luckily, 49 states now have laws that make sharing or threatening to share explicit images without consent illegal. 

Sources: New York Times, Eonline.com

Little Mermaid Star Halle Bailey Gets Restraining Order Against Ex

On Tuesday, a Los Angeles judge granted 25-year-old actress Halle Bailey, star of 2023’s live-remake of The Little Mermaid, with a restraining order against her ex-partner, DDG, full name Darryl Dwayne Granberry Jr. Bailey and Granberry, 27, were in a relationship from 2022 until their split last October. They share a son, Halo, who is a year old. 

Bailey says Granberry was physically abusive during their relationship, at one point assaulting her with their son present. Bailey says he pulled her hair and slammed her face into the steering wheel of their car while the car was not moving, which chipped her tooth. Two months later, she says he came into her house when she wasn’t home and texted her a photo of her bed with a threatening message that insinuated she was having sex with other men. Granberry is also accused of destroying Hailey’s Ring doorbell when he realized he was being recorded and slamming a car door on her while she was holding their child. He has also tried to disparage Hailey’s reputation through social media by claiming she is withholding their son and has relationships with other men. 

A hearing is set for June 6 to extend the order of protection. 

Domestic violence does not discriminate. Even celebrities and the affluent can be targeted by abusive partners who feel entitled to wield power and control over their partners. Tina Turner, Nicole Brown Simpson, Amber Heard, American Idol star La’Porsha Renae, and so many other celebrities have bravely spoken publicly about their abusive ex-partners. Some have been believed while others face public scrutiny, with the general public sometimes being unwilling to accept that a celebrity would “put up with” an abusive partner, as though famous individuals are somehow immune to gaslighting and brainwashing.

To  learn more about why it’s so important not to discredit claims of abuse, no matter who the survivor is, read, “Why We Must Believe Survivors.”

Source: BBC.com

New York Police Shoot Abuser Who Came to Kill His Ex-Partner

On Tuesday, New York police responded to a 911 call of a domestic dispute around 3 p.m. When they arrived on scene, a man wielding a knife reportedly lunged at the officers who tried to taser the man, but it didn’t stop him from advancing. One officer then opened fire, shooting and killing the man.

Police officials say a woman made the 911 call stating the father of her young children was headed to her home in the Glenmore Housing Development, angry that another man was watching their children. She told police that she believed the man was coming to kill her. 

Domestic violence calls are notoriously some of the most dangerous for police to respond to. At least 22 percent of officer deaths while in the line of duty are attributed to domestic violence perpetrators. 

“I’ve seen a connection between offenders who murder police officers and a record of domestic violence,” Michael P. LaRiviere, a police officer who does domestic violence training for national organizations, including the National Sheriffs’ Association, told DomesticShelters.org. “They’re dangerous people. They’re about power and control, and law enforcement officers represent the authority to take away their freedoms.”

A resident of the housing complex, Dwight Hays, says he's not surprised about the shooting.

“It’s a shame, but at some point you become immune to it because it happens all the time," he told local news. 

Unfortunately, becoming desensitized to violence against women is a by-product of how often this crime occurs. It’s estimated that three women are murdered by an intimate partner every day in the U.S., many of whom are killed after they find the courage to leave the abuser.  

“Women can predict, with frightening clarity, what the abuser is capable of, and yet often little is done to stop the murderous trajectory,” writes Kit Gruelle, advocate, educator and author.

To find out what danger level you may be at as a survivor of abuse, consider answering these 20 Danger Assessment questions and then speak to a domestic violence advocate to help you safely plan your escape, or stay safe after leaving.  

Source: News12 Brooklyn